Crashing Down
by glitteredrune
Summary: A single mistake was made and left everything in their world crashing down. Will they survive this tragedy or will the catastrophe end everything they worked hard for?
1. Chapter 1

**For no reason, I woke up around three in the morning then this story popped in my head. They're all human and extremely OOC. It's a fan fiction, OK? See you down there, baby ;)**

**I obviously own nothing but the errors.**

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><p>Magnus settled himself on the couch. He turned the television on and tried to find a decent show to watch. "American Horror Story" is on so he decided to watch it and admire Evan Peters' looks. He is not that fond of blondes but, boy, this kid is attractive.<p>

He is alone in their small apartment. Alec left early this morning and hasn't come back yet. This is not unusual to Magnus. He doesn't know why Alec seems to be pulling away from him. It feels like the only reason he is coming home is because he pays half of the bills. The thought made Magnus extremely worried. They have been together for three years and this is the first time Alec acted like this. He thinks it all started because of what happened last month.

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><p><em>The two of them had fought again. It was always because of Magnus' idea of adopting a baby. Alec said they are not yet financially ready.<em>

_"You always say that, Alexander," Magnus scoffed._

_"Because that is the truth, Magnus!" Alec's voice rises with every word. He clenched and unclenched his fists trying to calm down._

_"You've been saying that since last year! Tell me, do you even want a kid? Do you?" He threw his hands in the air. He was getting more and more frustrated._

_"You know what? Maybe I don't," Alec said quietly. This shocked Magnus. He never expected his partner to say those words. Alec started making his way to the door._

_"Where are you going?"_

_"Far from you. I'll be back when things cool off. Don't wait."_

_As the door slammed shut, the tears Magnus was trying to hold cascaded down his cheek. This is not what they had planned for their future. This is not the perfect life they've been started stitching when they married. This is not what he wanted._

_Two days passed and still, Magnus heard nothing from Alec. He is extremely worried for his husband. He decided to call his long-time best friend, Ragnor. Ragnor suggested coming over Magnus and Alec's place and the other man agreed. The doorbell rang. Magnus got up from his moping and crying to answer the door._

_"What the hell happened to you?" Ragnor's eyes were popping out. If he wasn't so depressed at that moment, he would've laughed._

_"Hello, Ragnor," Magnus said with a hoarse voice and motioned his friend to come in._

_"What the hell happened to you?" Ragnor asked again when he had settled himself in the couch._

_"No need to repeat the question, Rag."_

_"You weren't answering me."_

_Magnus sighed heavily and then the tears started coming out again. Ragnor scooted closer to his best friend and enveloped him in his warm embrace._

_"Alec and I fought. He left and hasn't called yet," Magnus whispered between sobs._

_"That prick," Ragnor said. Magnus is aware that his best friend isn't that delighted with Alec. Maybe because Ragnor was once his boyfriend. Alec dislikes Ragnor, too._

_"Don't call him that," Magnus chastised._

_"Why'd you marry him, anyway? You deserve someone better," Ragnor said honestly and pulled from the hug. He tucked Magnus' hair and stared at the magnificent yellow-green orbs._

_"Better? Who? Alexander is the one for me," Magnus smirked._

_"I could be better," Ragnor said quietly. The intensity of his best friend's gaze left Magnus frozen and speechless._

_Ragnor leaned in and all Magnus can do was stare. When their lips touched, he closed his eyes and let himself forget. Forget the baby, the fight. Forget Alec for a while. He responded to the kiss and slightly opened his mouth. Ragnor slipped his tongue in and explored the other man's mouth. Magnus moaned. Ragnor pushed him slightly so Magnus was lying on his back. He knew this is wrong but he didn't know how else to cope with all the problems. He just wanted to drown in nothingness, if that's possible. Breathing heavily, he pulled out from the kiss. Ragnor's eyes were still closed and he was smiling. That made him smile, too, but not for long._

_As he looked over Ragnor's shoulder, there stood Alec with his wrinkly clothes and dishevelled hair staring at the two of them. His eyes were full of pain, anger, and one more thing Magnus can't place. _Disappointment. That's it._ He was disappointed at Magnus. He didn't even cry; he just stared at his husband's act of infidelity._

_"Alec," Magnus whispered and pushed Ragnor away from him. Ragnor fell from the couch and saw Alec. He smirked._

_Magnus stood up and approached Alec. He cupped his cheeks but Alec roughly removed his husband's hands from his face. He walked slowly until he reached their bedroom and slammed the door._

_"What have I done?" The tears are falling again. He looked at Ragnor, asking for some answers._

_"Serves him right. He deserves it. Just leave him," he tried to reach Magnus but he shied away from his touch._

_"No. I will never leave him. I will fix this," Magnus said indignantly._

_"We'll see."_

_With that, Ragnor left Magnus staring into oblivion._

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><p><strong><strong>As you know, I have another story (After a Thousand) and I'm planning to delete it because I'm running out of ideas. Do you guys have any you'd like to spare? <strong>**

**This is going to be a two-shot story so tune in for the next chapter. Reviews make Evan Peters horny and everyone wants a horny Evan Peters. **

**Seriously, leave a review. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

The sound of the jiggling keys woke Magnus from his slumber. He was still situated at the couch and the television is blaring with some late night show. He glanced at the clock. It's only five minutes before eleven. And Alec just got home.

Alec went straight to their room without even sparing a glance at Magnus' direction. Magnus sighed. _Maybe he's just tired. _He stood up and turned off the TV. He entered their room and saw Alec removing his tie. Magnus smiled and approached his husband.

"Here, let me help you." Magnus reached toward Alec but the younger man stopped him.

"No, I'm fine," Alec said emotionlessly and walked to the bathroom.

"You want me to heat up some food? There's spag-" Magnus called.

However, he never get to finish what he was saying when Alec replied curtly. "No, Magnus."

"Okay," Magnus said silently. Instead, he changed his clothes into pyjamas and got ready for bed. It was rather a short ritual compared to before. When he got married to Alec, he stopped wearing his glitter. His husband didn't ask him to do so, it was his own decision.

He laid down to their large soft bed and pulled the blue blanket over his body. After a minute or two, Alec emerged from the bathroom wearing his own pyjamas. When Alec laid beside him, Magnus slowly wrapped his arm around his husband only to get it not-so-gently shoved away. Feeling the tears started to well up in his eyes, he turned to the other side and stared to the blank wall. He thought of their early years together, the time before _that_ happened. He remembered the night Alec proposed to him. They were eating dinner together with the Lightwoods since it was Max's birthday. His baby just kneeled in front of him and asked him if he'd like to stay with him for the rest of his life. He was the happiest man back then. But now, he doesn't know. He closed his eyes and let the tears lull him into sleep.

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><p>Magnus had never been an early bird but when he married Alec, he tried to rise from his beauty rest early. He wants to kiss his angel good morning and stare at those lovely blue eyes. And that is some serious challenge considering Alec wakes up <em>really <em>early. But today, as Magnus opened his eyes, the blank wall he'd been staring at before he slept last night was still the one that greeted him this morning. He turned to the other side only to find out that Alec is not there anymore. Magnus sighed. If he's lucky enough, he'd catch Alec before leaving.

Since he is lucky bastard, he saw Alec putting on his shoes. Alec noticed him and stared at him after wiping some dust off his shoes.

"You're up early," Alec observed.

"I was hoping to catch you," Magnus smiled. The smile, however, was not returned.

"Why? Do you have anything to say?" Alec said rather coldly. Magnus tried not to cringe.

"Well, I…" Instead of embarrassing himself in front of Alec by saying something stupid, Magnus just gave his Alec a sweet peck on the lips. Alec stared at him blankly afterwards. Magnus looked down and stared at his bare feet like it was the most interesting thing in this universe.

"I'm going then," Alec said, headed to the door.

"Wait," Magnus said. Alec turned back and looked at him. "I love you, Alexander. Always remember that."

Alec said nothing in return. As he made his way out, Magnus thought he'd heard him said in a mocking tone, "You love me now, huh?" He decided that it was just his imagination and proceeded into preparing himself for the day.

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><p><em>After getting back into his senses, Magnus stood up and went to their bedroom. Opening the door, he saw Alec's back facing him. It was shaking and he knew that Alec was crying. He didn't know what to do. Should he sit beside him or should he stay where he is? He decided that the latter might be the best.<em>

_"Alec," he called out pleadingly. Alec's back tensed. "Please let me explain. It's not what it looks like."_

_"Really? I think what I saw was enough. Don't play with me, Magnus." Alec was still not facing him but he saw his fists clench in the sheets._

_"You don't understand!" Magnus unconsciously shouted. He didn't mean to scream at Alec._

_"That's right! I don't understand! Does he? Is that why you were making out with him in our home?" Alec faced him now. His soft face is now covered with cascading tears._

_"It's not like that, Alexander! Let me explain,"_

_"Okay. Speak then," Alec crossed his arms and gazed at Magnus challengingly._

_"I was… we were just…" What does Magnus have to say? He really can't say anything in his defense because it really was his fault. He let his emotions took part in his better judgment. It was unfair to Alec who trusted him for so long._

_"What? Got nothing to say, lover boy?" Alec said mockingly._

_"Look, Alexander. I'm really sorry. I don't-" Alec raised his hand to stop Magnus from making his speech. Alec sighed and seemed to think deeply._

_"I know we were both confused. Let's just forget about this, okay?" Alec stared at him with a tired look in his blue orbs. Magnus smiled thankfully._

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><p>Alec never talked to him like before after that. He never touched him again. Alec never kissed him after that. It was always he, Magnus, who kiss the other one. Alec never smiled his heart-warming smile again. Magnus had been searching for the warm love in Alec's eyes he adores the most but it was not there anymore. It was like having Alec but not really having him.<p>

Sometimes, Magnus wonders if Alec still loves him. Everytime he does this, the heavy weight of what he'd done crashes down on him and convinces him that Alec doesn't love him anymore. However, the sweet memories push all the bad backwards and give him hope to move forward. He knows Alec never loved him less after that. He did forgive him, right?

Ragnor is a different story. He never stopped calling Magnus after, but Magnus never picked up. He wanted to change his number but all of the people from the company he is currently working in knew that number. Weeks passed and he soon got tired of it. Magnus was thankful for it.

Magnus is working as an executive chef at a five-star restaurant. He loves his job. This is where he met the love of his life. Alec is an architect of a big company. He knows Alec's workmates and Camille happens to be his best friend.

Said best friend's name appeared on his phone while locking the door of their apartment. He was on his way to work when he saw that Camille sent him a picture. It was Alec. It was Alec kissing another guy.

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><p><strong>Thanks for the reviews. Rather, review, 'cause I only got one. I appreciate the alerts I got but still... Is it that hard to spend a little time and type in "Boo, you whore"?<strong>

** OK, I'll shut up now.**

**Reviews, darling. I need 45678937 reviews. xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't want this to be a two-shot anymore. This kept me wide awake for nights and I decided that I have to publish this. **

**Of course, both of them are still OOC. I only own the mistakes.**

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><p>Magnus decided not to go to work that day. The picture was now branded in his mind. It wasn't a passionate one, but it looks like Alec was happy. And that's what makes everything so much worse. His Alec is now happy with somebody else.<p>

He was sitting on the couch for hours, waiting for Alec to arrive. He hasn't got up since he sat down and now it's dark. He doesn't even know what time it is. Another hour passed and he heard the door of their apartment opened. The jingling of keys followed. A minute passed and he can make out Alec's silhouette moving towards their bedroom. He opened the door and shut it firmly. He didn't even notice Magnus.

Magnus sighed and followed his husband. Alec was in the bathroom brushing his teeth. While waiting for Alec, Magnus changed into his nightwear and lie down on their cold bed. He was yet again facing the wall, avoiding to have any physical contact with Alec tonight.

He felt Alec next to him. Something in his chest keeps him from confronting his unfaithful partner. Was it nervousness? Anxiety? Fear. He was afraid of Alec. Why is he afraid by Alec? You shouldn't be afraid with the person you love, right? I can't do this, he told himself.

"Do you have anything to tell me, Alec? Anything about work? Workmates?" The question he'd been thinking for the whole day came out of his mouth unconsciously.

A minute of silence passed before the other male replied.

"There's nothing to tell. I'm tired. Good night," he said coldly.

Magnus' heart clenched painfully. Alec was lying to him. Why, Alec? I thought we're okay now.

He didn't realize he'd been trying to come up for an answer for hours until he saw the red digits in the alarm clock. 2:45 AM, it said. Since he has no intention of sleeping at all, he got up and went to the bathroom.

He stare at his reflection ruefully. His eyes were sunken, the tan skin under was dark. His hair was extremely messy. He realized he lost weight and he looked like a walking skeleton. No wonder Alec decided to find a new man. He was ugly, hateful, and worthless. The tears he'd been holding up all night started to cascade down his smooth face. It was obvious that everything is over between them. The fact that there's no more love in their relationship made it hurt every time he tried to breathe. He thought that it's only a matter of days before Alec will ask for divorce. He doesn't think he can handle it.

He thought he'd been crying for a minute or two but it was already five in the morning. It's only a matter of minutes before Alec will use the bathroom. He washed up his face and lied beside Alec without causing much movement. Once settled, he covered his body with the blanket that smelled like Alec and let his dreamless sleep drown him.

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><p>The next days were so much like before. Camille continued to send him updates about Alec and this other guy. And as each day passed, the hurt unbelievably vanished. He got used into seeing pictures of Alec holding this guy's hand. He got used into seeing Alec kissing another guy. It was all too common. He turned into an empty vessel. He doesn't feel anything anymore. He's numb from all the pain.<p>

There are days when he felt like he wasn't really alive. He felt like he was just a ghost bothering Alec's perfect life. Today is one of those days.

Just like before, Alec arrived around midnight. His hair was dishevelled and his lips were swollen. Magnus is not dumb. He obviously just got laid. Or maybe it was just a heavy make-out session. Anyway, the cheater's home.

"How was your day?" Magnus said with fake enthusiasm.

"Good," Alec proceeded in stripping of his clothes except for his boxers and pulled the blanket over him.

"Okay. I had a good one, too." Magnus whispered.

"I don't care," Alec said simply and shut his eyes.

Magnus waited for minutes. Why isn't his chest clenching? Why isn't hurting? Was he supposed to not care?

Slowly, Magnus locked himself in the bathroom. He stared at his reflection and an ugly freak stared back at him. He smiled sadly. He was sad for himself.

He opened the cabinet and searched for the blade he'd been using for days. He found it beside his sleeping pills. He pulled up the sleeves of what he was wearing and stared at his scars. There were eight thin lines marking his once perfect caramel skin. Two were still pinkish. He started hurting himself for he thought he would wake up from this bad dream he was living in after doing so. Obviously, this was not a dream. Still, he wished it was.

Magnus was smiling while he was sliding the blade slowly against the battered skin. Then he felt the pain. He frowned. This means everything was real. He was still alive and he was a nuisance in Alec's life. He can't do anything but just sigh. He washed his wound and the blade then returned it beside the bottle of pills. He checked and saw there were only three left. He didn't thought he'd been using it that much. He just bought it last week, for crying out loud. He took the last pills. He instantly felt light-headed and decided to go back to the room.

He saw Alec sleeping peacefully, his mouth curved slightly like he was smiling. Magnus can't help but smile. He wanted to kiss Alec awake like before. But he can't do that, can he? He can't afford to see that look of disgust this man would give him. This man who used to love him.

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><p><strong>Reviewing doesn't hurt, does it? Do it. <strong>**Papapapapweaaaaseee?**

**Never mind that. Thanks for reading! xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**I've finished typing the next chapter. Twenty five reviews would be nice. I know, I'm a review whore. I ain't even mad.**

**Also, listening to A Rocket To The Moon's "Like We Used To" or You Me At Six's "Fireworks" is recommended.**

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><p>The cold nights continued and Magnus swore that he'll lose his mind. Alec's been like this for six months and honestly, Magnus has no one to talk to about this. Camille told him to seek some professional help that might help him. Magnus rejected the offer. He thinks it's petty to ask help from someone that'll probably not understand you anyway and just judge you in the end. He didn't need that.<p>

"Magnus, you could always talk to me," Camille said on the other line. She's always calling him, checking if there's any change in Alec's cold behavior.

"I'm fine, Cam. We're fine. It's just a phase. We'll get through it."

"Okay then. Just keep in mind that I'm always here to listen," Camille said kindly before hanging up.

Magnus was on his way home from work and he kept on deciding whether to talk about _it_ or not. Of course, he's aware that nobody will understand him. They'll think that he's just overreacting. Or maybe he's lucky because Alec isn't leaving him yet. Because who would want to be married to an unfaithful, useless freak? He's fortunate that Alec still comes home and sleeps beside him.

He locked the door before retreating to the room that was once filled with warmth. He cleaned up himself before sleeping. Once settled, he faced the wall that became his best friend these past months. He didn't want to talk to the wall because if he does, he might lose his mind completely.

"I'm going to talk to Alec," he whispered to himself before drifting to sleep.

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><p>He felt someone beside him and thought it might be Alec. He wasn't wrong because when he faced the other direction, he came face to face with his husband's back. He waited for Alec to breathe evenly. Once he did, Magnus sighed. He has to do this.<p>

He slowly treaded his fingers on Alec's soft hair, quite hesitant at first. Magnus felt his heart swell with happiness. It's been months since he last touched any part of Alec. He sighed happily.

"Alec," he started slowly. His voice was only loud enough for him to hear. He continued playing with Alec's hair.

"How was your day? Mine was okay. I hope you had fun today. How's everyone at your office? How's Jared?" Magnus knew about Alec's other guy. Camille told him everything.

"You know, I've missed you a lot. But it doesn't matter as long as you're happy with Jared. Are you happy? I'm not." Magnus' voice cracked at the end. "But I'm trying to, at least for you.

"I really want to hug you right now. Just like before. But I can't. I might disturb your sleep.

"I wish I'm the one that makes you happy but I'm not. I don't even know why you still keep this marriage. I know you hate me so much and I'm just waiting for you to hand me the divorce papers. Why, Alec? Is this some sort of punishment? Well then, I'm hurting. Is that enough for you?"

He didn't even notice the tears that fell from his eyes. He's pouring his heart to someone who doesn't even hear him. At least he's not talking to a wall.

"You know, sometimes I can't handle all the pain. I know why you come home late. I saw all the marks on your skin. I can't handle all of that, Alec. I'm just a human. And I don't have anyone to comfort me. You know what I do? I cut myself. Two to three lines everytime I saw a mark. Maybe you have a vague idea of how many cuts I have. I even tried to kill myself once. I took a whole bottle of pills. They didn't work though. Did you know about that? Did you notice the scars? You didn't. You can't even look me in the eyes without a hint of disgust, how much more of my body? You think I'm disgusting now, right? Maybe I am. And I haven't eaten for five days now. I just don't have the appetite to eat. Do I sound pathetic?" Magnus chuckled. Moments passed until he broke it.

"Will he love you like I love you? Maybe he will. Maybe he does. I'm nowhere near ready from letting you go but if you want to, I'll set you free." Tears started to wet his pillowcase and he continued on combing Alec's black locks.

"But before all that happen, can you at least tell me one last time how much you loved me? I'll be happy then. I'll go far away from you so you can live the life you dreamt of. The life we dreamt together.

"May I hug you? Will you mind? I hope you don't." Magnus slowly wrapped his arm around Alec's waist and squeezed gently. He continued to cry on Alec's shoulder, not caring anymore.

"I love you so much, Alexander. I love you so much, it hurts. I know it's quite impossible, but can we please go back when everything's still perfect? I'll never talk about the baby, I swear. I'll never disappoint you. It is okay if you want to be Jared, just don't throw me away, please? Do you want me to distance myself from you? Is that what you want? Just tell me, I'll do everything you wish.

"I wish you've heard me, Alec. But you didn't, right? You didn't notice me again." Magnus laughed sadly, giving up. Magnus sighed for the millionth time that night and removed his arm from Alec. He faced the wall again and closed his eyes, glad that he lifted some weight from his still heavy heart.

Little did Magnus know, Alec was awake the whole time, trying to hold back his own tears while listening to Magnus. He realized how ruthless he is to Magnus and he hated himself for it. Magnus almost succeeded in trying to kill himself because of Alec! Alec is the one disgusted to himself. He still cares for Magnus and he wanted to stop Magnus from hurting. Alec promised himself that he will make everything alright again.


	5. Chapter 5

The harsh rays of the sun woke Magnus up. The space next to him is obviously empty and cold. Today was his day off and he's looking forward for a day of sitting on the couch and watching reruns of crappy shows. He stretched and got up, readying himself for the dormant day ahead.

He went to the kitchen to eat something because he decided that he _must_ eat something. It's unhealthy for someone to go on five days without eating anything. When he reached out to open the fridge to get the milk for his cereals, he noticed a note stuck on the cold white surface.

_Magnus,_

_ Let's have dinner together at eight. See you at Blue Hill._

–_Alec _

Magnus can't help but smile. Maybe his wishes are coming true. He skipped breakfast this time because of tonight. He should look perfect so Alec won't quit staring at him. He should perfect so Alec would _love him again_. His giddy smile never left his face for the rest of the day. _Maybe things are going to be better._

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><p>Magnus arrived at Blue Hill ten minutes before eight. Blue Hill was where the two of them first met. It was where the spark was ignited before. <em>This is where the spark will be ignited again<em>, Magnus thought. He patiently waited for his husband and took his phone out to check his mails.

Forty-five minutes had passed but there's still no sign of Alec. Magnus started to worry. He picked up his phone again and debated whether to call Alec or not. _What if he's driving? He doesn't like to be bothered while driving._ Magnus just sighed and decided to just wait for him.

Magnus checked his phone and it says that it's 28 minutes past ten. Alec's been late for three hours. Magnus bit his lip and tried to stop his tears from flowing.

Alec stood him up. Maybe Alec thought that it's okay for Magnus to be stood up. Hell, maybe this was all a _cruel joke._ After all, Magnus and their "relationship" were just a bad joke.

Magnus dialled someone who he hasn't talked to for a while.

"Ragnor? Are you busy?" He heard his own voice cracking.

"Magnus? Are you okay? Where are you?" Ragnor sounded like he just woke up and was awaken by the hysteria in Magnus' voice.

"I'm at Blue Hill. Will you accompany me here? Please, Rag," he begged.

"I'm on my way."

Fifteen minutes later, he saw a wild-haired guy with crumpled articles of clothing approaching his table. Magnus gave him a sad smile. Ragnor quickly sat beside him and wrapped his arms around him. That was all he needed to pour all of his tears out.

"Shh, it's going to be okay. I'm here, Mags," he cooed Magnus even though he knew it was useless. Magnus kept on crying and crying for minutes and it drew unwanted attention to them. He glared at them before standing up and pulling Magnus out of the godforsaken place. He dragged him to his car and turned to stare at his yellow-green eyes. He wiped the remaining tears on Magnus' cheek with his thumb.

"What happened?" he started softly.

"Alec," Magnus replied between sobs that started to invade his being again.

That name sent Ragnor immediately to the edge. He gritted his teeth and said to himself that Magnus needed a friend now, not a hired killer.

"He asked me out for dinner and stood me up. He thinks I'm just a joke." Magnus didn't stop crying. Ragnor just want to reach out to him and kiss all the sadness away but he can't do that. Not now.

"Listen to me. You're not a joke, Magnus. You are the most beautiful person in this world, you hear me?" He cupped Magnus' thin cheeks and made him stare back at him. Magnus just smiled at him fondly.

"He said that to me, too. He said that before proposing to me."

Seconds of awkward silence ensued. Ragnor waited for Magnus to speak out because he knew that his best friend would. He wasn't disappointed.

"You know, Ragnor, ever since he saw us… kissing, he started to hate me." Magnus was staring into the pitch blackness of the night. Ragnor noticed that Magnus lowered his voice when he said _kissing._ That caused a tugging feeling in his chest. He didn't say a word though, he just let Magnus talk.

"He always comes home late. He never talked to me, never kissed me, and never touched me. Never. And then I noticed the marks on his neck, his crumpled clothes. He even smelled different!" Magnus laughed hysterically.

"It was Jared's scent. You know Jared, Alec's new guy? Yes, Alec's been sleeping with someone else now. It's okay for me, actually. It makes him happy, right? I should be happy for him." Magnus stared back at Ragnor.

"And Ragnor, I will tell you something but please don't be mad at me," Magnus eyes were frantic.

"I promise," he said quietly.

"I tried to kill myself once. And I cut myself on a regular basis. I thought I'd let you know because you're the only one I can talk to."

If Ragnor was mad before, he was beyond furious now. This was all Alec's fault.

"Magnus," he held Magnus hand tightly. "Promise me you'll get a divorce now, okay? Stop this craze. He doesn't love you anymore. Can't you see that?"

"I know he doesn't love me. But I need him, Rag. I don't think I'll live without him."

"You will be perfectly fine just like before you've met him. You must stop loving him, you hear me? And besides, I'm here. I'm always here."

"But you're not Alec."

"That's right, I'm not Alec. That means I'll never hurt you. Magnus, answer me. Will you stop loving Alec? Just think of your own sanity this time, please." He looked at Magnus with pleading eyes.

Several seconds passed before he heard Magnus utter something. "I'll try."

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><p>It was almost twelve when Ragnor dropped him off in front of his and Alec's apartment. Ragnor kissed him on his forehead before going.<p>

The door was unlocked. He shrugged. He thought he just left it earlier unlocked. The place was dark when he entered. _Maybe Alec's out._ He flicked the switch on and heard noises. Magnus' heartbeat picked up its pace. Is there a robber? He realized that the sounds were coming from their bedroom. He decided to pass by the kitchen first and took the sharpest knife he could find.

He tried to walk as silent as possible towards the bedroom. Slowly, he opened the door, cringing because of the inevitable creaks it was making. The sound became louder. He cautiously peaked and what he saw made him open the door wider. He dropped the knife on the floor, barely missing his foot by an inch, and trained his eyes on Alec… and _Jared._

"I-I'm sorry if I interrupted you," Magnus said frantically as he reached for the knife he dropped. He was panicking. He held the knife's sharp blade which in turn left his right hand bleeding because of the deep wound.

He sat on the couch, hugged his legs, and rocked back and forth, trying to soothe his nerves. It didn't work though. It felt like someone was stabbing him repeatedly on his heart. Tears started to pour uncontrollably, soaking his face. Alec emerged out from the room later wearing only his boxers. He sat beside Magnus.

"Mags," he started.

"Was this the plan all along? To play with my feelings? To play with me?" Magnus said while he wiped the fresh tears that started to cascade on his cheeks.

"No, it's just…"

"It's just what? It's just you can't stop yourself from fucking your other man in _our_ house?"

"Magnus, let me talk."

"No, I've shut up for so long, Alec. I think it's my turn to speak up," Magnus willed himself to do what Ragnor told him to do.

"Mags…"

"I love you, Alec. I love you more than anything in this world but obviously this isn't mutual. I gave you everything I have because you promised that you'll do the same. But you didn't because you think I'm just a piece of trash. I made a mistake, Alec. That didn't make me a bad person. We all make mistakes. But you, you don't have the heart to forgive me. You think it was your mistake for marrying such a lowly person like me. That's why this marriage still exists, isn't it? You felt that you are responsible in punishing me. Well, congrats. You've done a great job." He kept staring at Alec while saying all of these. Angry tears escaped from his eyes.

"It's not like that, Mag-"

"Alec, I want a divorce. You're not my Alec."

This rendered Alec speechless. Never in his life had he imagined waking up without Magnus beside him. He had taken Magnus for granted.

"I will go away and never come back, I swear. You will forget me and it'll be just like before I came to your life. I'll set you free. You will have the life you dreamed of. That's what you want, right?" Magnus smiled at him. It only broke his heart.

"Magnus, we can talk-"

Said man cut him off from his request. "Will you hug me Alec like none of this is happening?"

It was a weird request but he did what Magnus wanted. He wrapped his arms on Magnus' thin shoulders and Magnus did the same in Alec's waist. Magnus nuzzled in the crook of his soon-to-be ex-husband. The tears made their appearance again.

Alec can't help but cry. He truly fucked this up. Magnus is leaving him. He regrets everything that happened. He hugged Magnus tightly because he knew that it might be the last time.

As Alec was enjoying this bittersweet moment, he heard a gasp escaping from Magnus' lips. It was not a shocked gasp. It was like he was surprised from the pain. Alec pulled out of the hug and noticed that their couch is wet with… blood. He saw the knife Magnus dropped earlier. It was, however, stuck on Magnus' abdomen.

"I'm tired, Alec. I want to rest." He was trying his best to speak, obviously.

Alec didn't know what to do. He can't lose Magnus!

"Magnus, don't go. You hear me? I love you, Mags. Please," Alec cried helplessly. "Jared! Call 911!"

"Really? You love me?"

"Yes, please don't go."

"Thank you, Alec."

With those last three words, Magnus closed his eyes and a peaceful smile was painted on his lips.

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><p><strong>THE END.<strong>

**That's what you get for not giving me 25 reviews :D**

**Do you guys want an epilogue, a sequel, or Alec's POV? Or maybe nothing at all? For me, all I want is a review on how much you hate me.**

**Kbye. xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**You can say this is an epilogue. But since this one's crap, I'll let you call it whatever you want to.**

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><p>Harsh bright lights welcomed Magnus as he opened his eyes. <em>So this is what being dead feels like, <em>he thought. However, that thought left his mind as fast as it arrived when he noticed his surroundings. It was quiet, except for the sound of his and someone else's breathing. He felt someone was holding his hand. He felt the tubes connected to his body. He felt pain in his abdomen. _Definitely not dead._

He tried to gather what was left in his memory. He tried not to breathe to fast because it only adds up to the physical pain he's feeling. _Alec and Jared. Knife. Wound. Stab. Blood. Death. _The last thing was the one he was aiming for, actually. But since God hates him, He decided to let Magnus live. Magnus was about to stand up and find something sharp when he remembered that _someone _was with him. He turned his head slowly to his side and saw Alec sleeping while holding his hand. His heart instantly clenched. From love or from hate – Magnus isn't sure.

He wanted to cry at that very moment, but at the same time, Alec stirred from his sleep and saw Magnus staring at him. Alec smiled hopefully at the sight of his husband alive. But the damage has been done and it left Magnus gasping for air to breathe. He was barely hanging. Just one more move and it'll be his end. But Alec is oblivious to this because he takes Magnus for granted. He thinks that Magnus will always be there no matter what he does. And honestly, that was what Magnus was planning to do. He was Alec's husband after all. He promised to be there always.

"Magnus," Alec whispered.

Magnus just smiled weakly, not trusting his voice to speak. He knows he is going to cry once he tried to say he's okay. Alec smile wider.

"I'm gonna call the doctor, okay? Just don't move."

As Alec left and closed the door, the tears prickled down Magnus' smooth face. He was so tired of his life, he just wanted to die. He was so stupid. He was just going to stab himself yet he cannot do it properly! Maybe that's why everyone hates him – because he is a moron, a useless piece of trash, a pathetic freak_. _He forced his hand to move and wipe the tears. Alec shouldn't see him like this. He'll hate him more.

The door opened slowly. A young doctor, probably 25 or 26, made his way to Magnus' bed. Behind him is Alec who is still smiling like nothing bad happened.

"Hello, Magnus. I'm Dr. Carstairs. I will check…"

Magnus let himself to zone out from what the doctor was saying. He let the attractive, young doctor check his wounds while he stares into nothingness and think of what to do with his life.

He saw Alec and Jared fu – _making love_ – on their bed. He felt bad so he stabbed himself. _But it didn't kill you, moron._ And also, when he thought he was dying, Alec said he loves him. Somehow, it renewed the hope in Magnus' heart. He knows it was stupid. He took all of the shit from Alec and didn't complain.

_Ragnor._

His best friend, the only one who understands him. What would Ragnor say? He would be disappointed. Magnus wanted to cry at the thought of Ragnor looking at him with disgust. He should divorce Alec. That's what would Ragnor say.

_But he can't, can he? Alec said he loves him._

He was snapped out from his reverie when Alec touched him softly. The doctor was gone, he noticed.

"Hey, you okay?" Alec said softly. Funny when the man who hurt you the most suddenly treats you like a queen.

Magnus just nodded and closed his eyes. He wanted to sleep and stop thinking for a while. After all, a _stupid_ brain like his can only handle that much.

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><p>The doctors performed several examinations on his body and when everything was done, he was on his way home with Alec. He didn't know what happened with him and Jared. He didn't also know whether to worry about it. His head hurts everytime he thinks about depressing thoughts. He hasn't talked to Ragnor yet. He bets his whole pointless existence that his best friend has no idea of what happened.<p>

He still hasn't talked that much ever since he woke up. He thinks that the less he talks, the less he'll get hurt. The more he pretends to not exist, the more he'll save himself from the pain. He simply _exists _because the doctors didn't let him die.

Alec opened the door for him. He quickly walked and went to their bedroom but the rush of emotions was enough for him to hold on the wall for support. Thankfully, Alec didn't see him. He tried to stand straight and walk slowly until he reached the _bed._ It was exactly the same bed. He lied carefully, not wanting to make creases, and covered himself with the thin but soft quilt. _It still smells like Alec._ He let his eyes droop for a moment and when he regained consciousness an hour later, he heard Alec talking quietly on his phone outside their room. He can only hear Alec but he was pretty sure who was on the other line.

"We should stop seeing each other. The last time was just a favor. Of course I loved you, but I love my husband more than you. What we did…"

"Alec?" Magnus can't continue listening to Alec talking to Jared on how he loved him.

"I have to go. Bye." Alec said and turned his phone off. "Baby, did you sleep well?"

"Why are you talking to him?" Magnus can hear hysteria creeping into his voice.

"That's not important. Do you want something to eat?" His infidel husband tried to avoid his gaze.

"No, I want to talk to you! Why do you hate talking to me?" Magnus can feel he was losing it. His sanity, the thing he was holding onto, was starting to slip from his grip.

"Magnus, you have to calm down!" He was surprised that Alec shouted at him. _Maybe because I'm annoying and stupid._

Magnus shut his mouth quickly and hugged himself and moved far from Alec's reach. His body started to shake. _Was Alec going to hurt him? _The traitor tears started to flow out again and alarm was painted on Alec's face.

"Oh no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I'm sorry. Please don't get mad. Alec, sorry." Magnus repeated these lines once he was situated at the corner, hugging his knees while rocking himself slowly, staring into oblivion. The pain of his wound was enough to make him cry but the feeling of Alec's hatred towards him was unbearable.

Alec can only cry as he watched his Magnus lose whatever was left of him.

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><p><strong>OKAAAY.<strong>

**How was it? Good? Bad? Super bad that you want to kill me? At least I let Magnus live. That should count for something, right? **

**Reviews would mean so much. **


	7. Chapter 7

Alexander Lightwood never hated himself before as much as he did now. He let his desire for revenge overcome him. In result, he hurt not only the most beautiful man in his world, but also the only man who loves him. He felt bad and wanted to punish himself but he knew that it would help neither of them.

Now he felt powerless. He can't do anything to bring back the happy and carefree Magnus he loved. All that was left was the suicidal and depressed version of his husband.

Everyday, he watches Magnus stare into nothingness. He heard him whisper into the thin air and cry out of the blue. He comes to his side every time there is an episode and tries to comfort him, but instead of crawling into his warm arms, Magnus flinches from his touch and tries to move as far as possible from him. He told no one about his lover's condition. He knows where they will bring Magnus and he doesn't want to be apart from him anymore.

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><p>Magnus Bane admitted to himself that he is not perfectly sane. For the moment, at least. Everything that he witnessed was simply too much. The lies, the betrayal - it was all too much for him to handle. Every time he sees Alec, all he can think of is how he made love with another man right in front of him. Magnus knew about this infidelity but he never thought that Alec would cross the line. Magnus had always felt worthless starting then.<p>

He wanted to be away from Alec. He wanted divorce, but considering the state his in, he highly doubted that a decent lawyer would help him. He is half-crazy and suicidal. Who would believe him if he says that his husband cheated on him? They would probably tell him the he is overreacting. Or worse, imagining things.

Magnus had been sitting on the couch since he woke up. His hands were on his lap and he was facing the television. Tears were pouring down from his face. If any stranger had seen him, they might think that he was crying because of the show. The only problem was the T.V. was not turned on. He was just staring into space and the next minute, he was crying. The flashes of images were back and destroying him. Jared and Alec sitting outside a coffee shop, holding hands; Alec's head resting on Jared's lap while they watch rented movies; the two of them laughing together over their inside jokes. Magnus had never seen them doing these but he can imagine Alec's happiness without him. It seemed a perfect world.

He would be lying if he told anyone that he never tried committing suicide after the last time. He tried drinking the pesticide he saw at one of the cabinets, tried to find any sharp object but found none, and even hang himself, but Alec had always seen and stopped him. It only made him want to finish his life more.

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><p>Alec was not surprised to see Magnus crying. He would like to approach and hug him but he knows it will only worsen things. Instead, he sat to the adjacent chair and waited for Magnus to notice his presence.<p>

Magnus stopped crying and stared at Alec for the first time since the incident. Alec did not expect this.

"Hi," Alec said. "Have you eaten anything yet?"

Magnus shook his head slightly and stared at his lap. He always reminded himself that the lesser you talk, the lesser you get hurt.

"Magnus, will you forgive me or at least talk to me? It's been three weeks, babe," Alec asked pleadingly. He heard nothing but the silence.

"Damn it, Magnus! You have to give me another chance!" He didn't mean to raise his voice and scare Magnus. The cold shoulder Magnus was giving him was unbearable.

Still, Magnus didn't utter a word. He kept his head low and the only motion was shoulder shaking. His hands grabbed the cloth of his sweatpants and his knuckles were turning white. You can't see his face because his hair is covering it but it was quite obvious that Alec made him cry. Alec suddenly felt guilty.

"Babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to raise my voice it's just that..." Alec sighed. "You're not the only one who is hurting here, Magnus. I can't bear to see you that way."

"Why don't you leave me?" Magnus asked in a little voice. Alec was happy to hear his voice even though it was laced with sadness caused by him.

"Because I love you," Alec said truthfully. Magnus laughed bitterly.

"Loved. Not love. You think I'm pathetic. That is why you're still here."

"What? Magnus..."

But Magnus wasn't listening anymore. He stared back into space with a defeated look on his face. This time, Magnus was not the only one crying.

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><p>Night was probably Alec's least favorite part of the day. He is always awake. If Magnus has one of his nightmares, Alec must be awake. Same thing when Magnus is wide awake. God knows what Magnus might do.<p>

They were both on the bed and Alec was facing Magnus's back. Having the courage, he slowly wrapped his arm on Magnus's body. What surprised him was when Magnus held his hand. He slowly rubbed it, like he was massaging it. Just like before.

"It would have been better if you still had our ring." Magnus whispered. "

Alec felt like someone punched him. He didn't lose it. Okay, maybe he had. But he was so mad at Magnus then. Still, he knew it was unreasonable and unfair for Magnus.

"I don't know if you will ever forgive me, but I'm so sorry, Magnus. After everything that happened, I realized that you are still the one I love. Please, give me one more chance." Alec kissed Magnus's neck and hugged him tighter.

"I love you, too."

Alec might have fainted but he figured that kissing Magnus senseless is a more sensible reaction.

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><p>Magnus felt disgusted at himself. He was kissing back the man who made him want to kill himself. Anyway, he had no other choice. This was stage one of his plan. Forgive Alec. The rest of the plan mainly consists of making Alec fall in love with him again and then break his heart. Just like what he did to him. If Alec can play this game of revenge, Magnus can play better.<p>

Magnus realized that he was being stupid. Why should he be moping around because of a lost love? He wasn't like that. If somebody hurts him, he hurts them back and make them want to leave this planet. So why the hell did he let Alec do that to him? Bane is getting his revenge, and Lightwood will never forget it.

Magnus will pick himself up and be the man he was before. He will be the Magnus that no one wants to mess with. Alexander will regret the day he was born. The game is just starting and all odds are in his favor.

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><p><p>

**Hi! I'm back. I decided that I wasn't happy with the ending so I'm going to continue writing this. Is the pace of the story fast? Leave a comment. :)**


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